November 19, 2005

Got wood?

Something my friend Brenna said about Ents on her LJ got me thinking.

There's a lot of stuff Tolkien never explained about the Ents. He said there had been Entwives at one time, but he doesn't really say much about them except that they wandered off. He covers a lot of other topics in stories and scribblings that got collected into the Books of Lost Tales and the Unfinished Tales, but there are still a lot of unanswered questions about Ents.

1. How do they do it, anyway? I can't visualise them fucking like people. Do they cross-pollinate? I'm guessing they cross-pollinate, but they make it something really special and go off somewhere private to do it. Which brings me to 2...

2. When an Ent is pissed off at somebody, does he say "Go pollinate yourself"? Is that even possible?

3. Do they go to the bathroom? What does Ent poop look like? Mulch?

4. Do Ents that drink too much get yellow leaves? Do they have a Yellowleaves Anonymous?

5. At Christmas, do they go out and find a person, kill him, and then hang ornaments on him? Or do they just hang ornaments on themselves?

6. What would Ents ask for for Christmas? MiracleGro? I bet they give each other pruning shears the way people give each other manicure sets.

I can't think of any more questions, so I'm going to post.

same bitch time, same bitch channel...

Posted by Frida Peeple at November 19, 2005 09:11 AM