November 28, 2005

meme update.

I updated the memes list in the sidebar. I had to get rid of the Monday Madness because I never do it anymore and the cutesy page design was really getting to me. Nothing should have that many flowers and teddy bears on it unless it's for a child. And the Sunday Brunch is defunct.

And I hate my life, and trying to make it better isn't working.

If there was a good DSL service around here besides the telephone company, I think I'd have my phone disconnected. I'm starting to like text-only interaction much more than spoken. Maybe I'll just write to all the clinics and places that have my phone number and tell them it's disconnected and just to write to me. It doesn't matter how many times I tell them that I don't answer my phone; they keep trying to get ahold of me by phone, and by the time they finally give up, so many damn days have passed that they could have had the entire conversation with me by snail mail.

I have a feeling the day will eventually come when I'll have heard all the music I want and all the conversation I want, and I'll just have them poke holes in my eardrums so I'm deaf. Or I'll do it myself.

Posted by Frida Peeple at 03:12 AM

November 23, 2005

research paper conniption #87

I know I'm not supposed to hex anybody, but does anyone have a very special, very nasty hex for PEOPLE WHO WRITE BOOKS AND THEN DO NOT PUT INDEXES IN THE BACK?? IF I HAVE TO READ ANOTHER 300 PAGES OF YOUR SAPPY-ASS OPRAH MOMENTS WITH THE PEOPLE YOU INTERVIEWED FOR YOUR BOOK BECAUSE IT WAS EASIER TO POUND OUT A REAM AND A HALF OF MEANDERING, LAZILY CATEGORIZED WOOLGATHERING THAN TO WRITE A WELL-ORGANISED BOOK WITH ACTUAL FUCKING DATA IN IT, I SWEAR I WILL TRACK YOU DOWN FROM THE BOOK JACKET PHOTO AND MAKE YOU SUFFER WITH THE WRITHING AGONY OF A MILLION HELLS.

So if anybody has anything like that, forward it, mkay? thx <3

Posted by Frida Peeple at 01:10 PM

This is the coolest thing I have ever seen.

This place sells human skulls. No, I am not joking. Real, actual human skulls. They also have scorpion popsicles.

Link via the incomparable agnosticprophet.

sbt/sbc

Posted by Frida Peeple at 07:59 AM

November 19, 2005

Got wood?

Something my friend Brenna said about Ents on her LJ got me thinking.

There's a lot of stuff Tolkien never explained about the Ents. He said there had been Entwives at one time, but he doesn't really say much about them except that they wandered off. He covers a lot of other topics in stories and scribblings that got collected into the Books of Lost Tales and the Unfinished Tales, but there are still a lot of unanswered questions about Ents.

1. How do they do it, anyway? I can't visualise them fucking like people. Do they cross-pollinate? I'm guessing they cross-pollinate, but they make it something really special and go off somewhere private to do it. Which brings me to 2...

2. When an Ent is pissed off at somebody, does he say "Go pollinate yourself"? Is that even possible?

3. Do they go to the bathroom? What does Ent poop look like? Mulch?

4. Do Ents that drink too much get yellow leaves? Do they have a Yellowleaves Anonymous?

5. At Christmas, do they go out and find a person, kill him, and then hang ornaments on him? Or do they just hang ornaments on themselves?

6. What would Ents ask for for Christmas? MiracleGro? I bet they give each other pruning shears the way people give each other manicure sets.

I can't think of any more questions, so I'm going to post.

same bitch time, same bitch channel...

Posted by Frida Peeple at 09:11 AM

November 18, 2005

Because I fucking said so, that's why.

Comments are never coming back. Not even if I move to Wordpress or a different domain. If you have something to say, e-mail me and hope I'm in a good enough mood not to delete it. I really don't want to know what anybody thinks of me, or my writing, or my thoughts. This is the same reason I disabled comments on my Artwanted page. My LiveJournal still has comments open if you're burning to say something and don't want to use an e-mail client. There has never, ever been a thread in the comments that was long enough and interesting enough to justify the monumental annoyance of either deleting spam or trying to recode my whole fucking blog to fit in a code that will keep it out.

Ordinarily I'd apologise for the inconvenience, but I'm too tired, bitter and selfish to do that anymore. Well, I'll apologise to Rori, because she would actually comment if there were comments.

sbt/sbc

Posted by Frida Peeple at 08:38 AM

November 15, 2005

Call the Guinness Book Of World Records.

I am now officially the only person left on Planet Earth that gives a flying fuck about quiet.

sbt/sbc

Posted by Frida Peeple at 05:07 PM

November 12, 2005

thank goodness.

I got the neighbour to move her radio so it's not blaring right out the window and into my apartment. She turned it up to its usual volume, and I went back home and listened, and am still listening. Can't hear a thing. Hopefully this solves the problem. Contrary to popular belief, I really don't want to be a hag about a situation unless I have to. Luckily, here, I didn't have to.

Does anybody else ever have the experience that the longer they're on antidepressants, the more depressed they get? Or is it just me? Or is it winter coming? Or hormones? They are going to take blood Monday and test my thyroid and testosterone and LSH and whatnot. Maybe they'll find out why the hell my hair is falling out. Sometimes when I feel it, it almost seems thinner on top. Maybe I'm getting male pattern baldness. Great, I'll be slathering minoxidil on my scalp for the rest of my life.

Maybe I just have cancer and nobody's caught it or something. My lymph nodes do hurt a lot. Or maybe I just have a really bad somatoform disorder, and the therapist and I just have to root out whatever psychological issue is causing it.

I just feel like everything is grey.

sbt/sbc

Posted by Frida Peeple at 10:11 AM

November 11, 2005

People Who Should Die Right Now.

~Anybody who thinks their stereo is more important than somebody else's sanity. Especially neighbours.

~Drunks, unless they're being quiet and not bothering anybody. Then they're all right.

~People who say "What if everybody stopped having children?" in order to shame me into breeding, as if my decision not to have one would render the entire planet infertile. It's never gonna happen. You might as well ask "What if aliens turned everybody's liver into giant Twinkies?" Sure, it'd suck, but it's never fuckin' gonna happen, so stop worrying about it. People will never stop fucking, and some people will always want children.

~People who don't spell-check, either with a computer or with their eyes. Also, people who spell-check with a computer but still have so many errors [e.g. "if" for "is" and "to" for "too"] that you can't read what they're writing. Please die.

~People who complain about "the damn Mexicans." Try living in Mexico for a year. You'd stow away in the trunk of somebody's car to get back too. [Even my mom is in the "send 'em all back" camp now. Just shut the fuck up. Shoot them your own goddamn self if you don't think they should be here. You talk about them like they're not human anyway, so it shouldn't be a crime, right?]

~419 scammers. WE DON'T HAVE ANY FUCKING MONEY, OKAY? We spent it all on gas.

~Pat Robertson. [Oopsie, that wasn't a very Christian thing to say, was it? Good thing I'm not Christian.]

~Celebrity magazine writers who call a famous woman fat if she looks like a woman instead of a toothpick in a dress. She probably already has osteoporosis, amenorrhea and nerve damage from starving herself on some ridiculous diet that consists of 2 lettuce leaves and a handful of uppers but no actual proteins or fats. People read that and they think 115 lbs. is fat and 95 lbs. is normal because they don't see her low bone density or the clumps of hair that fall out in her brush every day.

~Everybody on "Survivor" including the producers. Just die. Try to get eaten by an alligator or something. I will laugh so hard. I am so sick of hearing about this fucking show, I'm ready to buy an alligator and train it myself.

~Ditto for "Fear Factor" and throw in the merchandising people too. If I want a notebook with a picture of worms all over the front, I will mix some paint and some spaghetti and pour it onto my notebook. [Actually, that might look kinda neat. I might use that as a painting technique...]

I have to go take two quizzes now.

same bitch time, same bitch channel...

Posted by Frida Peeple at 10:16 PM

November 07, 2005

Ow.

NordicTrack:

Very healthy if you exercise on it to lose weight and increase your cardiovascular strength. Its sturdy wood-and-metal construction holds up to a lot of hours of exercise.

Not very healthy if you trip and fall full-length onto it in a darkened room because you didn't bother to remember that you set it up. Its sturdy wood-and-metal construction will make mincemeat out of you.

I'm going to go ice the purple welt on my knee some more. This is gonna be such a fun night at work, I tell you...

Tell me why I don't like Mondays...I wanna shoot the whole day down...or trip it while it's walking past a NordicTrack. [My apologies to Bob Geldof for mutilating his song.]

same bitch [ow] time, same [ow] bitch channel...

Posted by Frida Peeple at 05:49 AM