March 31, 2004

The Return Of The Rocky Khan Picture Wrath Show Or Something

If you haven't already, drop everything and go here. Be prepared to stay a while or bookmark it. If you or anybody you love lives in Pennsylvania, pass this on before they finalize any plans to reopen Three Mile Island. [Link from the one and only Rori.]

On a lighter note, Otto asks What's On your favorite 'recently viewed movies' list Right Now?

Hm...The first two Star Trek movies and Return of the King. Those are about the only movies I've seen recently. I also got to re-see Rocky Horror Picture Show a couple months back, but while that's good, it's not really on my faves list. King is on the list because, well, it's Tolkien, and Bloom and Wood are nice eye candy; ST:TMP has a hot bald chick in a short tunic, unflattering crew uniforms that show delightfully hideous displays of batch, a huge frickin' ship in a cloud that dissolves everything in its path, a creepy transporter accident, and DeForrest Kelley in a hilarious leisure suit complete with big-ass bling-bling medallion; and Wrath of Khan has a memorable example of Hero Syndrome #2, a Starfleet suicide, old vendettas, a lovechild, the Genesis project, and endless opportunities for Rod Stewart jokes because, well, look at Ricardo Montalban. Sheesh. What else can you ask for in a movie? I ask you.

That's enough for today. I have stuff to do.

same bitch time, same bitch channel...

Thought for the day: Tonight is the night of the week that I clean the men's room. It's also April Fool's. I leave you to draw your own conclusions.

Posted by Frida Peeple at 07:37 AM | Comments (2)

March 30, 2004

Got Demerol?

Guess what I found out. NSAIDS don't work on a slipped lumbar disc. I also found out that it's easier to deal with a slipped disc when lying down than when sitting or standing, because the weight of your entire torso is not squatting on injured, inflamed tissues. I'm sure if I went to a regular doctor, all they'd do is give me drugs and tell me to stay off my feet.

I'd get one of those spam-blocking things for my blog, but I'm having fun playing with this Phentermine person. This time they left 5 comments, all on the same post and all using the same IP. Not smart. I deleted 4 and changed the other one. The comments they left are way back in one of the back entries. Also not smart. Copy and paste this into the search--dull red eye of the mouse--and it should cough up the entry that Phentermine keeps posting to. Or you can go to the Nov 03 archives and scroll down. The individual archives still don't work properly, for reasons that the administration of this blog still has not disclosed to me [hint hint, Lisa, if you still read this].

Don't ask me why I still fucking bother anymore, but here's the 8 Ball.

I can't think of any goddamn questions today, and since nobody comments on this piece of shit so that I can actually tell if they felt moved to have an opinion on anything I wrote, I can't seem to find a whole lot of motivation to be funny. Is that okay?
Signs point to yes

Should I just quit this whole shit, since nobody's even listening, or what?
Ask again later

Does unrelenting back pain that doesn't respond to any drugs improve a person's mood very well?
My reply is no

Should I maybe just tell everybody to go fuck their grandma, since their behaviour gives me no reason whatsoever to refute the hypothesis that they're a bunch of materialistic soulless trolls?
You may rely on it

To hell with Dr. Phil. I'm sticking with Dr. Ball.

same bitch time, same bitch channel...

Thought for the day: I can't write anything that's not gonna get me kicked off this site today. Come up with your own thoughts. If you can't, stop reading this blog.

Posted by Frida Peeple at 06:56 AM | Comments (0)

March 29, 2004

oh yeah, I need a title, don't I?

Well, my idea of logging my online time and trying to match it with productive time [housecleaning, bill-paying &c] was going kinda sorta all right til I pinched a nerve in my back sometime Friday [no, I don't know how], woke up Saturday almost unable to walk, and didn't have a lot I was able to do except read, do puzzles and be online. I'll be going to the chiropractor this morning, hopefully, but I now have 937 minutes [15.61667 hours] of online time racked up, not including what I'm accruing now, that I need to match with some kind of productive activity. Yeah, I know it sounds anal. But I've tried everything else to get myself off my dead ass and get this sty cleaned up, up to and including pharmaceutical assistance, and nothing seems to be doing the trick. Bad habits are hard to break.

Enough woolgathering. MM time.

1. Describe what you believe is a "good" driver.
Somebody who obeys traffic laws, pays attention to their driving, and stays in practice enough to get where they're going without crashing into anything or causing anybody else to crash into anything.

2. Describe a "bad" driver (your opinion of course).
The opposite of 1.

3. Which category do you fit in? Please back up your answer. Feel free to use examples!
I'm somewhere in between. My ma says I'm a great driver; she says I drive as though I've been driving for years [I didn't get my license til I was 25, so I've only had it for just over 2 years], but I think a lot of what is, or appears to be, good driving, comes from observing my dad over a lot of long road trips. I pay attention to how the car handles and I use the controls accordingly; I don't subscribe to the "nine o'clock/two o'clock" method of holding the wheel, because you can't turn smoothly that way. An instructor would say my steering wheel protocol is atrocious, but if he had his eyes closed he'd never complain. There are a lot of parts to a steering wheel, and some of them [like the arms, which you're not supposed to use] facilitate steering better than others. I watch the signs and the lights; I'm not a big tailgater or a big passer. I'd rather get there a little late than end up as somebody's hood ornament. I don't spend a lot of time fiddling with controls when I should be watching the road, but then I'll sit and eat a sub while I'm going down the road. [Never get mustard or mayo on your sub if you need to eat while you're driving. It'll just make everything slide out onto your shirt.] As for seatbelts, my shoulder belt is automatic, and I rarely forget my lap belt. The only time I don't wear the lap belt is when I'm just driving here in town, I'm never going to go over 30 mph, and even if I did crash, there wouldn't be enough momentum to slide me out from under the shoulder belt.

Notice I didn't mention seatbelts as a condition of good driving. In Minnesota, they have to stop you for something else before they ticket you for not wearing your belt, but they're trying to make it like other states where you can be pulled over just for not wearing your belt. I think there should be laws about children being properly restrained, because the adult driving is responsible for the children's safety, but I'm not happy with the seatbelt laws regarding adults. You're on the highway and you're going 55, 65, 75 miles an hour on a road with a bunch of other people who are going as fast as, or faster than, you, and who may or may not know what they're doing. If you're too dumb to wear your belt under circumstances like that, the gene pool is better off without you. The only justification I can see for those laws is that the higher number of deaths and serious injuries caused by seatbelt neglect tends to drive insurance rates up for everybody, which isn't fair to people who wear their belts. I wouldn't like the idea of paying higher car and health insurance because some people are stupid. But like so many things where the only person who's really, really hurt is the person who went and did something dumb in the first place, seatbelt neglect is, in the end, a function of natural selection and should not be interfered with if possible. If somebody you know died because they didn't wear a belt, I'm sorry for your loss. I just don't think "my brother/cousin/best friend died" is a valid argument for legally compelling all adults in the entire state to do something that should be their own choice. If it is, we should ban everything that could possibly result in somebody dying, including:

bathing without proper restraining equipment [lest you slip, hit your head and drown in your tub]

drinking [lest you die of alcohol poisoning, fall asleep with a cigarette in your mouth and set your house on fire, or fall down your stairs in a drunken stupour]

working in any hazardous occupation [which, in this economy, is probably less a matter of personal choice than whether you wear your seatbelt]

taking prescription drugs [lest you have a bad reaction and die]

driving itself [lest, despite wearing your seatbelt, you are mowed down by a runaway semi]

My point is this: If you're a kid, somebody else is responsible for your safety, and you probably don't have a sufficiently thorough understanding of physics and statistics to make an informed seatbelt decision. If you're an adult, and you know what the risks are, and you still don't have sense enough to take readily available precautions to preserve your existence, good riddance. The world doesn't need you.

***

Well, that's done. Now that I've enraged everybody that's had a loved one die in an accident [funny how that happens when you actually say what you think], since I didn't do last week's MM last week, I'll do it this week, as long as I'm here.

1. What was your favorite TV show as a child?
I had too many favourite TV shows to name. I was a TV junkie.

2. What show did you hate?
I don't remember. Being a TV fiend, I probably didn't hate anything enough not to watch it. The worst I could have said about something would have been that it bored me to the point where I changed the channel. I remember thinking the Disney Channel and all the shows on it were severely mentally handicapped, though.

3. What show did your family gather around the TV to watch?
We never did that much until my brothers moved out, so I don't know if you'd qualify me and my parents as "the family." But we all shared an interest in cop shows and lawyer shows, so we'd sit down on Wednesday nights or whatever and watch "Matlock" and "In The Heat Of The Night" and stuff. I think

4. What show is currently your favorite?
I don't have TV. I can't afford it and I don't miss it enough to make an effort to find room in the budget for it. If I did manage to pull an extra $38 a month out of my ass, it would go to Citibank or the student loan people.

5. What show do you hate now?
Whatever's playing on the TV in the restaurant downstairs. I need my quiet.

My back hurts. I'm going to go take another naproxen, fill another capsule with poppy seeds and make a chiro appointment.

same bitch time, same bitch channel...

Posted by Frida Peeple at 07:40 AM | Comments (0)

March 27, 2004

Cooking With Spam

Awww...Phentermine must really love me, because they got a new IP address [80.58.33.107, which I also banned] and left about 8 comments on one of my posts all advertising various shitty products! Isn't that splendid? Guess what I did? I deleted them all! And because the person leaving the comments was too stupid not to change their IP addy in between comments, I only had to ban one! O frabjous day! Smoochies, Phentermine!

Happy late Val's Day, Phentermine!  Bon appetit! <3<3<3

sbt/sbc

Posted by Frida Peeple at 01:42 AM | Comments (0)

March 25, 2004

I don't fucking believe this.

This is one of those things that just makes me want to beat my head against something.

House OKs gay marriage ban bill

In a vote that brought shouts of "Praise God" and hands raised in celebratory prayer from supporters in the Capitol rotunda, the Minnesota House on Wednesday approved a measure that would let voters decide whether the state's Constitution should ban same-sex marriage. [click for full article]

In another paper [I can't get the article online], one of the representatives, Holberg, said that this was a really important bill, that if there was an issue more important than defining marriage, she couldn't think what it was.

Well, let's see here. Can we think of anything more important than "defining marriage" [a task usually reserved for Merriam-Webster]? Hmmm...uhh...Iraq, maybe? The recession? The steady hemorrhage of jobs overseas? Perhaps the fact that our kids are coming out of school completely retarded? How about the giant goddamn hole in the ozone layer that's frying everything and melting the ice caps so that most of the coastal regions of the world will be underwater in about 50 years? Hm, yes, I see her point. None of those things could possibly be more important than saving marriage as a privilege for nice, clean straight people and not letting nasty, filthy gay people stink it up.

I'm going to go vomit now.

I did get a raise, though. 3%. But my rent increase ate it.

same bitch time, same bitch channel...

Idiotic catalog item for the day: The 3-in-1 Appliance Center. It's supposed to allow you to cook something and make coffee at the same time. It says "it has everything you need to cook a delicious breakfast, tasty lunch or great dinner." For who, Barbie? Who's gonna eat one piece of toast and one egg? And what kind of "great dinner" are you gonna make on that? You could make coffee and a burger on toast, and that's about it. Maybe a very, very small pizza. I don't wanna meet the person who thinks that's a great dinner. This is obviously not an appliance for somebody who cooks for two, so it's assumed that if you cook on it, you're eating by yourself. So essentially you're eating a burger on a smoking bun, alone in your apartment. Hot damn.

Posted by Frida Peeple at 08:14 AM | Comments (0)

March 19, 2004

If I had a restaurant, I'd restaurant in the morning...

Part 1: Le Cinq

If you...

1. ...owned a restaurant, what kind of food would you serve?
Healthy food. But not like lettuce and crap that doesn't taste like anything. I'd take recipes and make lower-fat, lower-sodium, higher-fiber, additive-free versions of them. Anybody that even suggested buying our food premade off a truck like most restaurants do would be fired. [Yes, that would be harsh. I don't give a crap. There will be a zero-tolerance policy towards flavour enhancers.] The meats and poultry would be free-range; the fruits, veggies &c. would be organically grown; everything would be made from scratch when possible, including sauces and soups; the salad bar would have fresh spinach, both regular and low-sodium cottage cheese, and no fake bacon bits; the veggie burgers would NOT be those damn Morningstar or whatever brand that have more chemicals in them than a polymer research lab; and I'd make a variety of herbal teas available. The menu would cater specifically to people with special diets, people who can't eat processed food, and people who prefer naturally grown, [relatively] chemical-free food. The cooks would be trained in the proper use of seasonings so that fats, refined sugars and starches, and sodium could be reduced without sacrificing flavour. Any cook caught using Lawry's season salt would be sentenced to 10 minutes in the walk-in cooler with me and a tenderizing hammer. Why? Cos it's my stinkin' restaurant.

Now, you may complain that this will make the food too expensive and nobody will go there. Those of you who make that complaint should count yourselves lucky that you can stand to eat normal restaurant food without having a reaction from all the mystery substances that end up in it on its way to your table via factories, canneries, and spoiled-rotten focus group people who don't care if there's enough MSG in it to kill a manatee as long as it tastes good. The rest of us, who have chemical intolerances, high blood pressure, diabetes, gluten allergies, candida problems, obesity, or any number of various other health issues which force us to restrict our diets, face a choice each day, with every meal and every snack: Cook it yourself, or eat something processed and risk getting sick from it. [Diabetics, of course, can now choose from a wide variety of low-carb foods, assuming their bodies can handle Splenda without it inducing peristalsis in their guts and giving them explosive diarrhea. If they can't, well, they're just as hosed as they were before.] These people--and if you actually polled people, you'd be amazed how many of them have dietary restrictions, or should have them and don't follow them because it's a huge hassle--would gladly pay a couple dollars more per plate just to be able to go to a freakin' restaurant and sit down and eat the freakin' food like a normal person without having to worry about whether you're gonna get migraines or asthma or violent mood swings or a hypertension-induced stroke. If you want your food encrusted with MSG and bursting with artificial flavour that mostly comes from chemicals that short-circuit the pathways between your taste buds and your brain, killing nerve cells in the process, there are a zillion restaurants that will be more than happy to do that for you. My restaurant would be for the people who can't eat at those other restaurants.

2. ...owned a small store, what kind of merchandise would you sell?
Witchy stuff. I'd have incense and essential oils and herbs and health foods and gemstones and books and ritual tools of various price ranges [you could, for instance, choose a jeweled chalice or an intricately molded pewter one or just a simple, tasteful glass or brass one] and artwork and curious objects and specialty papers and pens [you never know when you'll need to write on a candle in silver ink, and there are times when, really, only actual papyrus will do] and just various neat stuff. Yes, I'm aware I'd probably go out of business in 6 months with a store like that in an economy like this. :(

3. ...wrote a book, what genre would it be?
Probably nonfiction, unless it was a collaboration. I'm really bad at making up plots.

4. ...ran a school, what would you teach?
I don't know anything well enough to teach it to a whole school. I only have one student, and I'm winging it with her as it is.

5. ...recorded an album, what kind of music would be on it?
Some hard, some soft, some simple, some mysterious. I guarantee you it wouldn't sound much like anything you're likely to hear on the radio.

Well, that took over an hour and a half, so I doubt I'll append much more to this entry.

Part 2: The Softer Side of Bitch

After attending a baby shower at work for one of our employees [who popped at the end of January] and holding the tiny little quiet thing, I came to the conclusion that babies are sacred mystical beings*. I'm still not having one. I'd rather devote my energies to trying to improve things for the people that are already here and for those to come, because I think the world needs people to pitch in and fix it worse than it needs more people. Once a baby's already here, though, it should be treated with the most excellent respect you can have for another living being, because it's eventually going to become an adult human that will share in the decisions that determine what happens to our planet and our species. Instilling strength and compassion in children as early as possible is literally of global importance.

Yeah, yeah, we all hear the "children are the future" hee-haw all the time. But I never really thought much of it, maybe because people always treated that motto as though it meant that we could just do whatever the hell we wanted and our kids would be more than happy to shovel up the mess for us when they grew up and we could just relax in our old age. But what it really means is this: Get up off your dead goddamn ass and start cleaning up this planet, these politics, these wars, NOW, because if you don't, your children will grow up too twisted and embittered by this sick environment to fix any of it, and you will spend your twilight years watching them toil and suffer under the weight of the shitty laws and debts you let slide, while you eat dirty food, drink dirty water and get molested by the overworked, underpaid people at the nursing home because your children couldn't afford to send you someplace nice because they're busy providing for themselves and the children they made because you pestered them mercilessly for grandkids during their 20's. It's already happening, my friend. Now it seems like everybody old enough to have grandkids has to gripe and grouse about what's the matter with kids today. I'll tell ya what's the matter with 'em. It's you guys. You made the decisions and cast the votes that shaped who they are, and now you don't like the results. Eat it.

Okay, that turned ugly. I was just going to talk about a baby shower. Oh well, I didn't say anything I didn't actually feel, so I'm leaving it all in there. Whatever. There it is, warts and all. Don't like it, there's a little x at the upper right hand corner of the window. The day I start leaving that stuff out, I might as well change the name of the blog to "Witchy Milquetoast."

same bitch time, same bitch channel...
__________
*This revelation came unexpectedly as I was mulling over something that one of the ladies said; she's about 70-something, and she was holding the little one, and she said, "You can't spoil 'em by lovin' em." Something about that keeps choking me up when I think about it, and it sparked the chain of thought that brought me to the conclusion I reached.

Posted by Frida Peeple at 09:38 AM | Comments (0)

March 15, 2004

Monday

You know, if things were run by pagans, Monday wouldn't be the start of the workweek. It'd have to be Tuesday, so people could have Sunday [sun-day] and Monday [moon-day] as holy days to have off every week in honour of the Goddess and the God. It kinda bites that the day named after one of the major pagan symbols of the feminine divine has to be so...so sucky.

But enough gynocentric blathering. This week I decided to try Monday Madness.

1. What is your solution for cabin fever - you know that feeling of being penned in the house all winter?
Yes, I know that feeling of being penned in the house all winter. Living in Minnesota for close to 10 years will give you a thorough knowledge of that feeling. I used to alleviate it by putting on Jimmy Buffet and holing up in my studio with about 3 different watercolour paintings to do. Now I mostly go online, and I pretty much just forget where I am. I should stop that, cos I'm not getting any damn painting done.

2. Who are the people in your neighbourhood...in your neighbourhood, in your neighbourhood.....?
Buggered if I know. Not sure I want to, either. My folks and some of my co-workers live in the neighbourhood, but other than that...eh.

3. What's the best thing about spring?
All the giant ugly piles of grey crap that have been plowed into empty lots and the edges of parking areas melt.

4. Any Easter traditions?
I usually do an Ostara ritual on the equinox--nothing fancy, just whatever ritual elements I feel like incorporating. My holiday rituals generally get made up as I go along--the only constant is that I try to do them, even if it's just lighting a candle and putting on some music that I associate with the season. Also, I sometimes do hard-boiled Easter eggs for the people at work, and I try to remember to buy my niece and nephew a little something, since mybrother's bringing them up Christian and there's no sense in confusing them til they're old enough to choose their own religion.

5. How old were you believing in the Easter bunny?
I must have believed in the Easter bunny at some point in my toddlerhood, but I sure don't remember it clearly. Kids oughta believe in whatever they want at that age. Don't even try to correct them. In all likelihood, the world will never be so magical for them again.

***

Well, that was a fun one. I think I'll do last week's too.

*Ok, using the letters in YOUR name, list words to describe yourself.
*And as a bonus question, using the same letters, make a list of things you would like to do before this calendar year is over.

let's see...

Frabdapulous, Recalcitrant, Intimidating, Dichotomous, Able-Bodied, Perverted, Enigmatic, Egregious, Perspicacious, Loquacious, Estrogen-deprived

Find a different job, Re-energize, Improve myself, Donate to charity, Acquire better coping skills, Pay off more of my debt, Eat more vegetables, Eat fewer candy bars, Pat myself on the back every once in a while, Lose as many pounds as I can, Engage in more relaxing activities.

Which reminds me, I have a book to read and literally like a dozen jigsaw puzzles to do. [And dishes, but screw those.]

Before I go, though...A German warms up for investing in the American stock market.

And I'm out.

same bitch time, same bitch channel...

Quote for the day: "Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, from those who are cold and are not clothed.

"The world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children."--Dwight D. Eisenhower, 16 Apr 1953

Posted by Frida Peeple at 07:31 AM | Comments (1)

March 12, 2004

Five things, and then, like, several other things or something

5.

1. What was the last song you heard?
Just heard, or paid attention to? The last one on the radio that I recall clearly was Journey's "Lights," which I remember cos one of the ladies at work was singing to it and I wanted to throw something at her. [I don't care for most of Journey, but you don't sing along during that song.] I suppose I should be grateful they left the classic rock station on instead of changing it to KOWZ or the oldies station.

2. What were the last two movies you saw?
Return of the King and Rocky Horror Picture Show [again].

3. What were the last three things you purchased?
Frozen pizzas, shrimp and pickle relish.

4. What four things do you need to do this weekend?
Cook, sleep, clean, and sleep.

5. Who are the last five people you talked to?
My cow-workers.

There was other stuff I was gonna talk about, but I don't remember what it is anymore, other than that they're raising my rent [grrrrrrrrrrrrr], the living room windows have been removed to be fixed and have not been returned [grrrrrrrrrr again, but at least there are storm panes], and I realised that one of the main things contributing to my high blood pressure could be that I'm drinking soft water all the time because I don't have any taps that bypass the water softener. I suppose when they had the ceiling ripped out downstairs, and they were re-doing all the plumbing in the building, it must not have occurred to them that tenants might not want to drink water with more goddamn sodium than a gallon of Hormel chili. So now I gotta contact Culligan and make sure it's sodium they're using, because if it is, I'm gonna start getting water from Mom's house cos she has a hard-water faucet on her sink. The water from my tap is so damn soft you can knit baby blankets out of it.

More later, maybe.

same bitch time, same bitch channel...

Thought for the day: What do chickens eat when they have a cold? If we found out, would it explain any of the thousands of missing-persons reports filed in the United States every year?

Posted by Frida Peeple at 07:39 AM | Comments (0)

March 10, 2004

Authoritarianism in Eastern Europe

Yeah, I couldn't think of a title again. Here's What's On.

What's On the back seat of your car Right Now?

I'm not going out to check, because it's 36 degrees out, but to the best of my recollection:

A squeegee, an old copy of Rolling Stone, a quillow [a quilt that folds into a pillow], and my old tape player that sounds like crap now.

I wanna go to sleep.

sbt/sbc

Posted by Frida Peeple at 07:39 AM | Comments (0)

March 09, 2004

The Social Impact of the Industrial Revolution

Okay, okay. You got me. I couldn't think of a title, so I stole one from a chapter of one of my old history texts. This doesn't have bupkis to do with the Industrial Revolution. It's just the 8 Ball.

My hair's kinda falling out. I think it's my blood pressure medicine, but I can't get ahold of the doc to get my Rx changed til next week. Should I quit taking it now?
Cannot predict now

I had a dream the other night that I was watching a football game where the players were wearing panties matching their jerseys over top of some kind of white bloomers, and one team had canary yellow jerseys and the other team had first lavender, then pink jerseys. The only team I can think of that merits pink jerseys and panties are our own Minnesota Vikings. Will the Vikings be showing their true colours with a costume change such as this in the coming season?
Don't count on it

If they do, should I be worried?
Better not tell you now

So, about Martha Stewart. She's kinda gonna have to forget about that French manicure where she's goin', if ya know what I mean, eh?
Signs point to yes

Tut, tut. Without Martha around, who will show women how to cook and decorate? Who will teach them how to make their own tortillas and dab paint onto flowerpots? Will we be forced to--dare I say it?--GO TO THE LIBRARY AND CHECK OUT A GODDAMN COOKBOOK?

Shudder to think.

same bitch time, same bitch channel...

Lyric for the day:
i got to find, find, find
what you're doin' about things here
a few witches burning
gets a little toasty
here

--Tori, "God," Under the Pink

Posted by Frida Peeple at 08:26 AM | Comments (0)

March 06, 2004

Little Seizures

Somebody tell me a good way to break chat addiction that doesn't involve severing your Internet connection or going to meetings with a bunch of Jesus douchebags who shove that "You have a proooooooooooooblem, and you have to ask GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD for help with it, or you're gonna be miserable for the rest of your LIIIIIIIIIIIFE" hyenashit down your throat and up your ass and every other place they can think of to cram it. I just wanna be able to do it on my own, and if that's not possible, you won't be hearing much from me in the future because I'll simply cancel my Net service.

I think the Depo backfired this time. I also think I need one of my salivary glands removed.

I also think that doctors who think it's reasonable to expect somebody on diuretics to choke down bananas and/or orange juice every sonuvabitchin' day should be hung up by their ankles and beaten like pinatas. If they then tell you that it's your fault your potassium level is too high because you took a supplement due to no longer being able to look at a banana or an orange without vomiting, they should be anally raped after the beating. Moreover, all doctors who hype and hee-haw about one's potassium level, but do not give patients a complete list of potassium-rich foods and the actual amounts of potassium in those foods, are officially admonished to either provide the information that allows your patients to do what you asked them to do, or shut your sanctimonious degree-holding pie hole. Asking your patients to eat the same two foods every day is inconsiderate of their humanity and is therefore shitty medicine. Knock it off.

A note to WebMD: Nobody cares about your fucking fitness program. You can knock that off, too. Also, random articles on your website about whatever diet issues people are worried about this week does not constitute a "diet and nutrition" section. It's just random articles. How about having something a little more organised that actually includes cogent information about nutrients? Or would that be unhelpful or something?

Piss on this.

sbt/sbc

Posted by Frida Peeple at 08:10 AM | Comments (0)

March 05, 2004

oh, whatever...

...I'm tired of trying to think of new and interesting ways to say "Friday Five" every week. It's the Friday Five. Take it or leave it. I've had enough today.

What was...

1. ...your first grade teacher's name?
I don't remember. The furthest back I remember is second grade, and I don't give out the real names of people I've known unless they use their real names themselves on the Net [such as Lisa, who, on the off chance she's reading this, still hasn't gotten back to me with that question I had].

2. ...your favorite Saturday morning cartoon?
I can't think of any offhand that were on on Saturday mornings, besides maybe Looney Tunes. As for which was my favourite...well, if I can only remember one, I can hardly do a comparison to determine which one was a favourite, notwithstanding my well-known philosophy concerning favourites.

3. ...the name of your very first best friend?
See 1.

4. ...your favorite breakfast cereal?
I don't even remember the name of all the cereals I used to like. It never stuck around the house long enough to compare it and call a favourite, because my oldest brother would eat the whole goddamn box before you got two bowls out of it, and you were left snorting HoneyCombs crumbs. Finally my parents got sick of it and just started buying cheap crap. I'm sure I had different faves from day to day and month to month.

5. ...your favorite thing to do after school?
I don't know. Watch TV, probably. Disgusting, eh? I didn't watch as much TV as a lot of kids did [I couldn't have--I spent too much time reading], but if I saw a kid drooling in front of the TV 7 days a week for 2 hours at a time, and it wasn't PBS or the History Channel or something, I'd smack them upside the head and send them outside to go play with other kids or identify bugs or collect leaves or anything but sit in front of that snaggafraggin' box.

***

It's been a long, long, fugly, fugly week. I am supposed to be in town right now, shopping, but I can't. Why? Well, this happened.

Ew.

Yeah. So instead I'm at home listening to the music of the plows. If you don't know what that sounds like, it sounds like this:

beep beep beep beep beep SKRAAAAAAAEEAEAAAAAGGGGGGG beep beep beep beep beep SKGLEEEEEUGGGHHHEEEEEAAAAAAAAGGGGHTTTTTT beep beep beep....

Well, you get the idea. It's still better than, say, Nickelback or Celine Dion. And it beats Creed any day of the week.

***

Somebody named "penis enlargement" left this comment on this blog:

Hello guys, i have to say this.. My boyfriend has tried some penis enlargement pills and he's a new person since than.The confidence..., the courage! i love it and i love you... i love the world

This is a very important message. It must be, or Ms. [or perhaps Mr.] Enlargement wouldn't have posted it to my weblog. In order to underscore the importance of this message, I'm posting Enlargement's contact info here and urging you to contact him/her. Specifically, I'd like you to demonstrate how the Threefold Law applies to spamming, if you have the software to do it. Knock yourself out.

IP address: 64.159.65.78

E-mail [fake, I checked]: amelie@hotmail.com

URL [real, but the site's "webmaster" link is a fake, so you can't actually contact anybody from the site]: http://www.pro-penis-enlargement.com

Well, since Ms. Enlargement didn't provide me adequate means of contacting her, I'm taking that to mean that she won't mind me posting info about her website here. First of all, I'd like to say that the hag, or whoever she got to do her site, can't spell "welcome." Second of all, whoever wrote the post sounds like a retard. I would advise you never to purchase any of the products or use any of the information from this site. If you have a blog, add this IP address to your ban list, if it's not already there. If you get a dangerous virus on your system, please visit the site as often as possible and get your computer to cough all over it in the hopes that it will die. Ms. Enlargement will receive a place of honour in the sidebar to the right.

Why am I making a big fuss out of it? Like I said, it's been a long, long, fugly, fugly week. Also, it's fun. In addition, the more I mention "penis enlargement," the more times this page will come up on a search engine, and the more people will read about the aforementioned site and know that whoever runs it spams people's blogs in order to hawk their fifth-rate products.

I'm done. It's payday. I'm going to the bank.

same bitch time, same bitch channel...

Thought for the day: What does "Everybody wang chung tonight" mean? Is wang chung an action? If so, how do you do it? Can it be done in front of the kids, or will that give them a complex and possibly incur the wrath of Child Protective Services?

Posted by Frida Peeple at 11:34 AM | Comments (0)

March 03, 2004

Is this thing on?

What's On your 'places to go; people to see' list Right Now?

um, let's see...

Places to go: The dentist, the Weird Al show [April], shopping

People to see: The dentist, Weird Al, and the person at the checkout counter. I'm stoked.

sbt/sbc

Posted by Frida Peeple at 09:50 AM | Comments (0)

March 02, 2004

sloping in guiltily...

Yeah, I know. It's like I only check in to do the Ball, or something.

Did those calories in the cheese sandwich I just ate count?
You may rely on it

Crap. Do you foresee an end to these awful Breadzilla-like starch cravings?
Outlook not so good

Is my employer gonna be around in another year?
My sources say no

I don't like that answer. You're aware you can be replaced, aren't you?
Yes, definitely

That's enough for one day.

same bitch time, same bitch channel...

Thought for the day: I wouldn't mind dying and being reincarnated if I could remember [reliably!] where I left off well enough to pick back up and continue, instead of spending half of each life trying to figure out what I was doing before I was interrupted.

Posted by Frida Peeple at 07:35 AM | Comments (0)