...is Folgers all over your coffeemaker and microwave.
They say you learn something new every day, and it's true. Today I learned why you should always remember to put the pot back on the burner after pouring the water into the top of the coffeemaker.
In spite of being flooded with coffee and grounds, the coffeemaker still works. Long live Mr. Coffee. [The microwave still works, too, but not because it's a Kenmore; it's because the paper towel under the coffeemaker prevented any of the coffee from leaking into the top vents.]
I did not, however, learn where my Tarot deck is. I also apparently didn't learn not to fall asleep with a candle burning. I'll have to lose everything in a fire before that one really sinks in, I think.
And I failed the test-out for my microcomputers class by three points. Not knowing MS Access was what killed me. All it means is that instead of getting credit for the class without having to pay for it, I'll actually have to take it. While I was pissed at myself for this [and left a trail of blue air all the way home], I was nevertheless encouraged by the fact that the dean's assistant, who is also a computer teacher, told me that she's been teaching Word for years and still learns new things. So the course shouldn't be a complete loss. With any luck I'll come out of it a total expert on MS Office and dazzle everybody [whoever "everybody" is] with my l33t 3xc31 and W0rd sk1llz. I'll even learn to use that bug-ridden, STD-prone meth whore known as Outlook Express, in case I ever have the calamitous misfortune of being forced to use it as my default e-mail application. If I ever work someplace where my job actually requires computer access, I will pWn. Or some shit like that.
And my hair is still falling out. I'm starting to wonder if I have a thyroid problem. Either that or I have a human suckage problem. I wonder if there's a supplement you can take that causes other people not to suck and makes them go away. Actually, I think there is, but it's called heroin and it kills you. It probably makes your hair fall out too.
And I am eating brown rice with cheese, taco sauce and chili powder [I can almost hear my poor chair weeping at the mention of all that fiber and lactose], and contemplating going back to bed. I have shopping, library stuff, online class stuff, cooking, and laundry to cram into my Saturday, and I get the feeling I'm going to have to stay up well into the afternoon.
Also, sometimes when your day starts out like this, it's good just to go back to bed and start all over.
same bitch time, same bitch channel...
Posted by Frida Peeple at October 15, 2005 03:49 AM