June 25, 2005

The Day My Butt Went Psycho

[This is actually the title of a children's book, but it has such a nice ring to it, and it's so apropos.]

I'm not going to go into a lot of detail here. I just wanna say that I'm pretty pissed that I wasted 20 miles' [round trip] worth of $2.26/gallon gasoline to drive to swim class, only to get there and discover that during the drive, I had unexpectedly developed...how do I say this politely? Um...gastrointestinal problems that made being in a crowded swimming pool seem like a very bad idea. I would have gone to the store and gotten something for it, but by the time it would have started working, it would've been time to get out of the pool anyway.

The speed limit between here and the pool I go to is 55, and I almost always stay between 55 and 60. I didn't go under 60 the whole way. I saw it as a choice between risking an accident and having one for sure. I was fully prepared, if pulled over, to tell the cop exactly why I was speeding, and hope that his mercy exceeded the deficit in his ticket quota. Didn't happen, though, and I was glad, because it saved me the problem of having to decide whether or not to deliberately crap myself to get out of a speeding ticket. [I might have actually done it, too, which would have said something about me that I'm probably better off not knowing.]

So that sorta shoots down my alternate plan of an early-morning walk, unless I want a very short, stiff-legged, sphincter-clenched walk. As my taste in walks leans more toward the leisurely, arm-swinging, sphincter-relaxed variety, I think I'll give it a miss. Instead, it looks more like a day for laundry, household chores, and repotting the Hawaiian ti plant I bought yesterday. I still don't know where the hell I'm going to put it. It needs a stand. Hmmm. I'm thinking I'll stick it next to Phil [the philodendron, which is erupting with leaves all over the place], since he's doing so well in that spot and they take about the same kind of light. That'll mean another plant stand. Time to hit the yard sales.

The other thing that cheesed me about it was that last Saturday, I had to get out of the pool early because [I think] I'd gotten a bunch of water in my ears and got very dizzy and nauseous. Also, I'd forgotten to take my Atenolol, and I didn't think it was a good idea to make my heart work that hard for that long without the drug when my body's used to having it. I was hoping to try out my silicone earplugs in the pool today, especially since next Saturday is July 4th weekend and the pool will be closed. So I won't get another chance for two weeks. But there was no way I was getting in the pool like that.

Dammit dammit dammit. >:-P

same bitch time, same bitch channel...

Posted by Frida Peeple at June 25, 2005 08:35 AM