March 08, 2005

and again, for reasons unknown...

Weird Ones. [Last week's, actually, but that's okay; I didn't get to them until today.]

1. A man killed a woman using a slab of creme cheese. How did it happen?
Depends on how big the slab is and whether he had access to a walk-in freezer. I'm envisioning a Looney-Tunes-esque scenario involving a rope, an enormous slab of frozen cream cheese suspended from a great height, and the perp getting the vic to stand directly under the murder weapon.

2. Without using examples define the word romance. Now do the same thing for the phrase 'Custody Battle'
Well, without using examples, the best way to do it would be to use synonyms. My favourite synonym for "romance" is "schtuppy love." As for the phrase "custody battle," the synonym "child-scarring emotional road accident of a family clusterfuck" comes to mind. [Not that I've seen many custody battles, but the ones I have seen didn't look like they were even a bit more fun than that synonym.]

3. If you were a superhero and had an arch-nemesis, who would be your arch-nemesis, what would they wear, and what would their power(s) be?
um...Pat Robertson, probably. He'd wear a very conservatively cut suit, and his power would be to convince people that gays, pagans, TV and rock & roll are to blame for the fact that the number of people who will believe a story about a talking snake is dwindling.

4. What's a bamzu? Now make up a more believable definition which is still equally wrong.
It's sort of like a bandersnatch, only more frabjous.

Okay, it's not. It's,'s...damn. That's it! It's a Klingon swear word. It means "your dad steals Kotex."

5. Why do we use a bar of soap from the outside in rather than from the inside out?
Well, we probably could do it the other way, it's just that we generally don't take enough LSD to make it possible.

Well, that was fun. Hopefully the new ones will be posted tomorrow...

same bitch time, same bitch channel...

Posted by Frida Peeple at March 8, 2005 08:31 PM
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