Frida's No-Fail Headache Recipe
This is best done after a windy snowstorm has swept through your region and left behind a mass of freezing, extremely dry air. Take 1 cold, dry bedroom. Add 1 space heater. Sleep in bedroom, with heater on medium, for 12 hours or until temperature is comfortable and humidity similar to Gobi Desert. Forget to start boiling water for several hours after you get up. If you can slam a few cups of coffee first thing when you wake up, and then have some caffeine withdrawal later, so much the better. Put on robe that has faint BO, not bad, just enough that you want to deodorize it. Do not use Febreze, because Febreze stinks like Satan's grandma's perfume. Use Glade "unscented" which is not really unscented but does work well at getting odours out of fabric. Put robe on, and cope for several hours with faint aroma of "unscented" smell until severe headache develops. Wait til it's too late for Benadryl to do any good. Take Benadryl. Boil some water. Sit in bed and read in a headache-inducing position. Add another pot of water to the stove. Stare at white computer screen. Blog. Breathe in and out, feeling your sinuses desiccate like Egyptian mummy sinuses with each inhalation. Wonder if the mechanic has your car done yet, and if the people at the company with whom you had to cancel your job interview will even deign to schedule you for another appointment. Swear.
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I wanna be a federal employee and get paid to sleep in on President's Day.
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My waistline is down 2 inches from the last time I measured, which was several months ago. Not much, but something.
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I know this headline is referring to pharmaceutical stocks, but it just sounded funny.
Drugs Brighten Weak European Stocks
They do that to all sorts of things, don't they? At least, the good ones do.
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Has anybody ever ordered from...oh, for example, Xandria...and had it take over two weeks from the ship date to get your stuff? Especially when the ship date has been confirmed? I've never had mail-order things take more than a week from date of shipment. Is it because it's tax season or Valentine's season or some shit?
I'm waiting until Friday and then I'm gonna ask for a refund. That gives the U.S. Pudpulling Service 3 full weeks to get the parcel from one point in the continental U.S. to another point in the continental U.S., which is way great plenty of fucking time even for them, unless it's being shipped via donkey cart.
You do not wanna fuck with my adult novelty shipments when I have a sinus headache.
same bitch time, same bitch channel...
Thought for the day: What is it that makes Jolly Ranchers jolly? Is it because you suck on them?
Posted by Frida Peeple at February 21, 2005 11:40 AM