I haven't heard anything back about comments yet. Apparently there's still an error. In the meantime, there's always email...
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Flat tires suck. But they don't suck as bad when you live on the same block as the garage and the mechanic is willing to come by, pump it up, and take it in to fix it for you. :) However, it did prevent me from getting to an opening of an art show by one of my former professors [my advisor, the lady who taught me watercolour, and an incredible person]; that blows. But the show will hang for several weeks, so I can still go see it...
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My brother announced to my mom that he's gonna give up custody of the kids because he can't take it anymore, and he's going to call all the family members and ask who can take them. Of course none of us can. I, for one, would have to instantly get off nights and onto a day job that pays more than what I make now, which is precisely what I've been looking for for 2 years and haven't been able to find; I'd have to move into a two- or three-bedroom apartment [two if I wanted to sleep in the living room, or if I only took one of them]; and I'd have to instantly develop a great deal of patience and parenting skills that I totally don't have. Also I'd have to conceal from the authorities that I'm Wiccan, because there are a lot of law enforcement and social services personnel who are either stupid, uninformed about other religions, or flat-out misinformed by the bullshit that arose during the Satanic panic of the 80's. I'm sure there are judges and social workers who think that everybody that's not Christian or Jewish is some kind of devil worshipper, and there have been cases of people having their kids taken away for being pagan, because an ex made allegations about what pagans do, and nobody knew any better, so they believed the ex.
In addition, the foster care system looks askance at any potential single parent, as they'd rather place children in a two-parent home. This is something I can agree with, especially in these kids' case, because they're a couple of little sociopathic drama queens [much more so than the average child] and two parents are harder to snow than one. And frankly, I think they could use a better example right now than a guy who lies to everybody, pisses all his money away, can't get himself up to go to work in the morning, and has literally flat-out said that nothing in his life has ever been his fault.
So I couldn't take either or both of them, even if I wanted to. The court would never let me, for a handful of reasons. [Not only that, I don't have a TV, and I have no intention of getting one. They would NOT like that.] My other brother couldn't take them, unless he wanted to be a single parent, move, and give up all hope of getting his Ph. D. before he's too old to get hired in the places he wants to be. I would be facing a similar problem, in that there wouldn't be time to take even online courses and get another degree. I would barely have the time now, and with a kid to take care of, I certainly wouldn't have the money to pay for tuition. If either of us wanted to give up our careers to raise kids, we'd have had our own damn kids. Sounds heartless, but that's how it is. And really, would it be fair to the kids to place them with a family member who has little money, little space, absolutely no parenting experience whatsoever, and no time to spend with them, just because it's a family member?
As for my folks, they simply don't have the space or the money; and for gods' sake, they're both in their 60's, and some days they can barely move around for arthritis and other old-age complaints. So that pretty much leaves either a cousin, who I seriously doubt is gonna take the kids, or foster care. Foster care, though, would allow visitation from grandparents; I don't know about aunts and uncles. But we could write and send them presents, and probably arrange to see them occasionally--which is about the way it is now. The younger one is going to have a horrible time adjusting to being away from his dad [he goes into an appalling funk if he has to be away from him for more than 48 hours, or if my brother is late in picking him up from Grandma's], but I have a feeling the older one is actually plotting to get taken away. I think she believes she would be happier somewhere else, and she could very well be right.
They need counseling, and they need far better counseling than what the county usually provides. Somebody whose bachelor's still has wet ink on it is going to be completely snowed. They need somebody who can see through all the manipulative bullshit they pull, and figure out a way to teach them why it's wrong, because they honestly don't seem to have any idea. My brother will never be able to afford that. If he even had that kind of money, he'd blow through it all on computer equipment and clothes and feel perfectly justified in doing so. They need somebody who won't stand over them and lecture them while they're trying to do their homework. They need somebody who doesn't talk--in their presence--about all the opportunities he could have if he didn't have them. They need somebody who can set a half-decent example in telling the truth for its own sake, being on time, budgeting money properly, setting priorities, respecting others, and being responsible for one's actions. He can't set any kind of good example in any of those things. I probably couldn't set a good example in some of them, but he's just...it's like his sense of responsibility froze at 18 and just never developed any further. [He's 38 now.] He wants the same thing he's always wanted--to cut an impressive figure, to impress people and have them respect him, but not have to do the work to get there. You can kinda guess what sort of success rate that plan has, unless the person intends to be an impostor all their life, and he's not anywhere near a good enough liar to pull that off. He wants a more glamourous life than most people ever get, probably thinks he's entitled to it [for some reason which I suspect is connected to extreme self-centeredness], and he'll lie, cheat, and--not quite steal, but ask for money for one thing and then spend part of it on something else, which is close--to get as close to that lifestyle as he can get. He's favoured flashiness over substance for the whole 28 years I've known him. He wants to impress, impress, impress, and until he lets go of the craving to impress everybody he sees, he'll always be caught in the same trap he's in now.
Then, too, he announced his decision on Saturday morning. No social services office or court is open until Monday, and he could completely change his mind by then. His mind, or what's left of it: according to Ma, it sounds like he's finally beamed down one too many times. His bio dad was paranoid schizophrenic, and the years of stress may have finally broken him down and triggered a latent tendency to psychosis. Stress + hereditary tendency = schizophrenic episodes, and if you don't have enough of the second to cause it on its own, just add liberal doses of the first until you get there.
I don't know. With any luck, whatever happens will end up being something good for those two kids.
So. Yeah.
same bitch time, same bitch channel...
Stupid government thing for the day: The Minnesota Dept. of Revenue has changed their income tax filing system so that you can no longer send in W-2's and 1099's. Instead, you must fill out a two-page form with your name, social security number, and the pertinent state information from the W-2's and 1099's. It has space for up to 18 W-2's and 12 1099's. [How many fucking people had 18 jobs?] I'm still not clear as to whether you have to include page 2 if you don't use it. I think I might, if it doesn't cost extra. Just to give them back a little of the pain in the ass that this is giving me. I also found out that since they can't be bothered to have people read it and are instead feeding it through a computer, you have to type your name and address on your return in ALL CAPS. I found this out, naturally, after I'd written everything in normally the way I've always done. I'm not gonna start a new form. I'm gonna use whiteout. And if their computer chokes on it, that's just too fucking bad. I'd have to fill out another return anyway. I hope they get a huge headache from it. When my federal return is 1 page, and my state return is 3...there is something rotten in Minnesota. Of course, we know its name is Pawlenty, but that's just something we'll have to ride out until the next election. I don't think his proposed budget will win him any votes, especially the bit that would cut all unmarried people without dependent children, and some poor families, completely out of MinnesotaCare. You know, because if you're a selfish bastard who refuses to breed [or you're divorced and your children are grown], and you don't have sense enough to work for somebody who provides health insurance [or you do but can't afford it], you can pretty much just fuck off and die. If it passes, over half the people that work at Mallwart are gonna be uninsured, because Mallwart thinks its employees are expendable animals. So if the budget passes, and you live in Minnesota, and you shop at Mallwart, don't let the employees breathe on you, because they may have some illness that was left untreated because nobody thinks poor adults are worth giving health care to. And wear rubber gloves, because they might have sneezed on the merchandise.
And this is turning into a whole other entry. So I'll stop.
Posted by Frida Peeple at February 6, 2005 06:49 AM