People who, upon learning of your dislike for something, feel it necessary to needle you about it and rub it in, a sort of, "Ha ha, I know you hate [whatever] and you have to put up with it! Ha ha!" I keep running into a lot of this lately. The mental image I get is of a little kid who pokes the animals at the petting zoo with a sharp stick because other beings' distress, and their captivity to it, is amusing or mollifying to him somehow. Whatever the reason, I still just end up feeling like an animal in a cage that's being poked with a stick, especially if I'm in a situation where getting away from the person is difficult or impossible. But, you know, that's why I'm here anyway. For other people to be amused by me, or profit by me, or for me to be available to be their bitch in some other capacity.
People wonder why I'm so demonstrative with feelings. It's because if I'm not, they seem to forget I have them. Of course, that works all right until you meet somebody who thinks other people's emotions are entertaining, and stomps on all your buttons and yanks on all your strings to get as much fun, ha-ha, whee-look-at-the-upset-person emotional entertainment they can get out of you. You meet enough of them, and then you have to shut your fucking feelings off because everybody else says, "well, you're just letting them get to you" and it's suddenly your fault for being emotionally available, because apparently you're not supposed to do that or something. So you disconnect all the buttons until you're so damn disconnected that people complain you're not in touch with your feelings. And you know you're not, because you can't identify half of what you feel anymore.
People, if you wanna torment something, go get a small furry animal and put electrodes on it or whatever sick shit you like to do. Just leave me alone.
***
Oh yeah. I got a root canal. The tooth was rotten all the way to the nerve and a little infected. Wasn't as bad as it sounds. He used so damn much novocaine, I can still feel a little residual tingle 10 hours later. Usually it wears off after about 4 or 5. It feels a little tender, but it's nothing like it was. At least I'll be able to eat vegetable fucking soup without tooth pain that sends me into a crying jag. That has to be the worst pain I have ever had in my life. I've had cramps so bad my vision went grey around the edges, but this was worse. And they need to find better ways to treat nerve pain. Tylenol's a joke. Naprosyn's a joke. Nerve pain looks at four Advils, laughs, and tells them to go wash its car. If anybody out there is developing a narcotic whose addictive potential is small enough to make it a potential OTC product....HURRY UP!
In the meantime, I'll have to see if my mom wants to sell any of her Ultram...
same bitch time, same bitch channel...
Thought for the day: Why did naproxen sodium even end up being OTC? Is it because it's so shamefully ineffective at killing pain that nobody wanted to write a prescription for it anymore? How did it ever get by the FDA as a painkiller anyway--isn't that false advertising? Shouldn't it say "complete goddamn waste of money and possible organ damager" on the bottle instead?
Posted by Frida Peeple at February 3, 2005 08:10 PM