Mutts in the news:
Happy birthday, dear Rover, happy birthday to you...
A new company has been set up in Moscow to hand make and deliver birthday cakes for dogs.
...
"We spent a lot of time on the recipes and at the moment the meat-based cakes are the big favourites with our clients.
"We are planning to add a dog catering service to provide full-on pet birthday parties - complete with birthday presents and other pooch party food - the demand is certainly there."
Trick or treat, smell my...er...
Michele Carlin, 43, of Oakland County, plans to take her own dogs out trick or treating, reports the Daily Oakland Press.
Her Yorkshire terrier, Ruby, will don a poodle skirt with a pony tail for Halloween while her 12-year-old schnauzer, Bubbles, will be disguised as a sorceress.
Yeah, I bet Bubbles will fool everybody, too.
Other non-mutt news:
I'd run away too. Maybe not from the Stones or something, but definitely from Meatloaf.
Meatloaf sees off wild boars
Serbian villagers are blaring out rock music 24 hours a day in a bid to stop wild boars destroying their crops.
People in villages in the Sokolovica mountains say they started playing rock music as a deterrent after one farmer who played Meatloaf as he worked said his fields had never been raided by pigs.
Locals say that the strategy has worked, and since then the boars have disappeared.
Maybe the boars were running away from that lady pleading "Will ya love me/Will ya love me forever..." over and over again. That'll scare male animals off for sure.
Quick! Who said this?
"No way, I would never strip for a movie. I would never do anything like that. I have studied acting for years," she said.
Charlize Theron? Reese Witherspoon? Tea Leone?
No, silly! Paris Hilton, of course!
The hotel heiress, who unwittingly also became an amateur porn star, wants to be taken as a serious actress.
...
"That is what I want to do from now on. That and my music too. People still keep asking me about the sex tape. I am really getting p*ssed off with it. I want to move on, but it's really hard."
...Music? Who's going to produce her, Samantha Fox? And not to get her p*ssed or anything, but what about the new sex tape, the one where she's looking directly at the camera? Feh...
Well, the Queen of Tarts might not be interested in doing nudie movies, but I know a couple Indian monks who'd take the offer.
Two monks have sparked protests in India when they were caught on video having sex with a young woman.
The incident has shocked followers of the Vadtal faction of the influential Swaminarayan sect, reports the Hindustan Times.
See, ladies?? That's what happens when you don't answer these guys' private messages on Yahoo! Instead of "chating wit u," they videotape themselves double-teaming some poor gal who probably just made the mistake of not giving "47/M/Australia" as her a/s/l.
[Yes, I'm mean. I was patient for a very, very long time. When the Indian guys stop PM'ing me, I'll stop being mean.]
And lastly...
If you ever become a psychiatrist, and have such a lucrative practice that you can afford to wipe your ass with dollar bills, it's always a good idea to wash them before paying fines with them.
Burlington city authorities noticed a 'foreign brown substance' on the dollar bills used to pay the fine.
They passed them on to police who had the substance analysed and confirmed it was human faeces.
The man admitted paying the fine with the money but claimed it had fallen down the toilet accidentally.
During questioning, he reportedly said: "What do you expect me to do, throw away good money?"
No, I expect you to buy yourself a wallet so you don't have to store your money in your rectum. It would also be nice if, as a mental health professional, you devised less simian approaches to anger management.
I like how the British spell it "faeces." I spell damn near everything else British; I might adopt that too. At least when I'm not spelling it "crap."
And that's a wrap. This is Frida Peeple, bringing you News That Doesn't SuckTM.
same bitch time, same bitch channel...
Posted by Frida Peeple at October 12, 2004 08:36 PM