WitchyBitch

What's Off?

What's NOT On your 'New Year's resolutions' list Right Now?

Hm...good question. Where do I begin?

~Converting back to Christianity.

~Voting Republican.

~Gaining weight and getting huge and blobby.

~Starting smoking.

~Becoming a vegetarian.

~Bankruptcy.

~Being gracious to people who dispense large amounts of unsolicited advice.

~Swearing less.

~Ceasing to refer to the plant manager as "Peckerhead."

~Marriage.

~Being less weird.

~Dressing up like a Hell's Angel and staging a protest against bacon outside the state capitol building.

~Going anywhere near Disneyland.

~Spearheading a revival of polka.

~Sleeping less.

~Having more acne.

~Thinking Ben Affleck, Leo DiCraprio and Keanu Reeves are anything but Ken-doll-fugly shitsticks with wadded-up used Kleenex for brains [in contrast to the opinions of some of the more brainwashed members of my gender].

~Joining the circus.

~Joining the National Guard.

~Eating more lutefisk.

~Setting fewer things on fire.

I'd go on, but you get the point.

same bitch time, same bitch channel, new bitch year...

Puerile Christian-fundamentalist rebuttal for the day: "Jesus saves...Pepsi points!"

Posted by Frida Peeple at December 31, 2003 07:38 AM