Catch-up ∗ 9:57 pm ∗ 7 comments

Oh, hello! I’m still alive, if you can believe it. Just tired (and lazy). Today I had my scans repeated and the news is not good, as usual. I am basically a walking tumor at this point. :/ It’s in my lungs now and everything … just not good. Starting new chemo but I don’t really know all the details yet. Probably starting tomorrow though. Oh well, right? so it goes.

Ooh, pomegranates are weird, but tasty. And the seeds are like little jewels! Mmm.

Anyway. Back at school now! I came back for CultureFest in my suite tonight; that was fun. We decorated gingerbread men (mine only had eyes, mittens, and boots, because mostly I just wanted to eat him) and Hannah took lots of odd pictures of herself with her Gingerbread Santa. Now I’m going to panic about my Italian oral exam, which is tomorrow morning and which I am entirely NOT ready for, seeing as how I spent the last week in France, not Italy (seriously, now that would have been helpful!). Speaking of France, pictures coming soon, just need to edit and upload.

Okay, panic time. See ya!

Baguettes and berets ∗ 2:57 pm ∗ 4 comments

Bonjour! Last day in France. It’s been a pretty good trip, minus the one sick day I had and the food being just horribly disappointing at first (though we’ve had some good meals these last couple of days). Pastries and baguettes though, mmm, yes: the French sure know what they’re doing there. Otherwise, it seems France is big on omelettes. But last night we had fondue! Although I didn’t love it as much as I thought I would … I mean, a giant pot of melted cheese with bread and potatoes to dip? Yes please, I thought! But the cheese was a little too winey and on reconsideration, JUST cheese for dinner is not the best meal idea maybe. I almost tried duck tonight but then I got chicken instead. Oh well. Awesome sorbet (a “harmony of sorbets,” in fact) for dessert … oh, well, don’t worry, you’ll see pictures soon. ;)

Okay! Enough about food. We left for Lourdes early the morning of Day 2, and we spent most of the day at the Grotto, and I went to confession and then I took my bath! I was getting kind of nervous about that, and my mom and godmommy were with me for moral support and I said, hey, you know, you don’t have to be sick to get bathed, and that’s just how easy it was to drag them into having to undress COMPLETELY and wade in the extremely, EXTREMELY COLD Lourdes water with me. See, now that’s how you know who loves you! So yes, you do in fact have to be very naked for this bath, and we read in the information that the water is kept at 12 degrees C, and we think, oh, they must maintain a certain temperature so it’s not too cold. Well, my mom went first, and we heard her yelp behind the curtain, so that’s when Aunt Lisa and I started to panic a little. I went next, and there are 3 ladies that help you (and they were reeeeally nice), and one takes your robe-thing off and wraps you up in this freeeezing wet cloth “for your modesty” and then I stepped down into the bath and my legs, my poor legs went numb, and I had to wade to the end of the bath to kiss a figure of the Virgin Mary, and then the ladies asked me to sit down in the water if I could, so I made an attempt, but mostly I was concentrating on the fact that I couldn’t feel my legs and plus I may have been whimpering, so they didn’t make me do it, and instead I took a sip of the water (from a pitcher – not from the bath, okay??) and hurried back out and the first lady gave me a hug and made sure I was okay, aw. Then the robe goes back on and you go back into the waiting/changing area and put back your clothes back on, EXCEPT no towels to dry yourself, so you are trying to pull your jeans up over your weg legs and it’s just not pleasant. But overall, a good experience (also, the ladies kept asking, “first time?,” like how many times do people do this in their life?), and I’m glad I had the opportunity to go.

In other news, I’m so done with this pain patch. I started wearing it about a week ago and it was working really well to keep my back pain under control, but I had to change it every 3 days and every time I put a new one on, that night I would have insomnia and the next day I was nauseous and headache-y and blah. So this last time I changed it in the morning instead, as my doctor had suggested, so maybe it wouldn’t give me insomnia, but nooope. And then that next day (our second day in Lourdes) I was sick all day and couldn’t go out and ugh. No. I am done with this patch. It’s not even working that well on my pain anymore, so it needs to go away.

Then we were back in Paris the past couple days, where we finally had the good eats (I also had a nutella/whipped cream crepe today, mm), and today we went on a bus tour and saw the Eiffel Tower and all that. Tomorrow we’re leaving in the morning and I’ll be home tomorrow afternoon (where I will be forced to face my masses of homework, but let’s not think about that just yet). Happy Thanksgiving!

Où sont les mecs? ∗ 1:42 pm ∗ 4 comments

Okay! Should really probably finish packing right about now. So we are definitely, definitely going to France, and I have several more white cells than I did yesterday so that’s good! Yesterday I got all tanked up on blood and the nurses gave my mom all this stuff for the plane so that if I get a fever on the flight, I can get hooked up to IV antibiotics. As fun a scenario as that sounds, let’s hope I stay healthy(ish), okay? So we’re going to Paris and to Lourdes, and I’m praying for some healing! But whatever happens, it’ll just be amazing to actually be there, and hooray for traveling in general, I love it! So in conclusion, I really hope I don’t get sick on the airplane, and guess what, I’ll take a million pictures, and I’ll be back Friday for a belated Thanksgiving. Have a lovely holiday, everyone!

By the way, if you are always up for a free book as I am, Scott Adams has one, and so far it’s pretty interesting.

Au revoir!

Step 1: Learn to bilocate ∗ 12:36 am ∗ 2 comments

So I have a schedule for next semester! Unfortunately, it’s terrible. Currently, it’s looking like I’ll have to figure out how to be in about 3 places at once several times a week. The actual classes seem okay though, as long as I can move some things around.

• MTWRF: Italian 102, 12-12:50 (REALLY need to get into the 11-11:50 class, would solve all problems, but could only get on the waitlist)
• MWF: Biology, Principles of Nutrition, 1-1:50 (please note it is physically impossible to get from the Italian building to the Bio building in 10 minutes)
• TR: Intro to Literary Studies, 8-9:15. Ohh no. It was the only Lit one I could get, AND the only timeslot that wasn’t full. Ugh.
• TR: Slavic Ritual and Family Life, 12:30-1:20. Yes, kind of random! But Katherine is taking it too and it fulfills a non-Western perspective and hey, I am Slavic after all, gotta learn about my people. (But also please note it’s totally during Italian, ugh.)

Plus there is a discussion section for the Slavic class. So all in all, not too bad, little bit easier than this semester I hope. I just need to get a different Italian section, and also I’d kind of like to get into a different Lit class so I’ll have to keep checking and see if any of them open up.

No classes for me tomorrow – gotta get tanked up on some blood so I’ll be all set for La Francia next week! I happen to have no white cells at the moment but oh well, I’ll just wear a mask on the airplane and we’ll be good to go. Also I probably won’t get to see the new Harry Potter for a while so be nice and don’t ruin anything for me! (Not like I don’t know what happens, but still.) Ooh, Kristen (my roommate) and I got dinner at the downtown mall tonight at this dumplings place, and I have never had real dumplings (like potstickers) before and ohh they are amazing! Except I am still completely chopstick-impaired, seriously, how do those things work??

Almost! ∗ 9:19 pm ∗ 4 comments

Yesss! Just finished my history midterm make-up. Now I just have one more exam to make up, yay! We’re getting there, just a little slowly. This morning I had an Italian test, but I don’t think I did too well on it since I kept fallling asleep during it. Not a good grade indicator, no. Tomorrow morning I have to schedule my courses for next semester so I need to be nerdy and put them all in a spreadsheet now so I can figure out when everything is, ahh. I kind of have no idea what to take, so I just wrote down things that sounded interesting and now I need to figure out where the time conflicts are. Should be fun!

Keyword: sleepy ∗ 7:06 pm ∗ 1 comment

Hellllp I feel so useless. I spent most of yesterday sleeping, so I didn’t get any studying done for my psych make-up midterm until the evening and then it took me till midnight just to finish studying and making my memory sheet. Then the Insomnia Monster attacked last night so I got maybe an hour of sleep total, so I skipped Italian this morning to sleep some more and when I got up I was all light-headed and exhausted so I figured I was either low on fluids or on blood and eventually my mom and I got myself up and ready to go to the clinic. So I got some hydration, slept some more, feel slightly better at least. Didn’t go to any classes though and I STILL haven’t done my psych midterm, so I’m going to do that RIGHT NOW and then I plan on going back to being sleepy and useless, okay? It’s too bad I have so much stuff to catch up on before Friday (3 more exams after psych, aah), otherwise this week would be fantastic and easy and lovely. Oh well. Test time!

Another weekend gone ∗ 7:36 pm ∗ 3 comments

Hooray, done with round 2 of chemo. Had to come home for the weekend to finish it up because the outpatient center at UVA is closed and otherwise I’d have had to be admitted into the hospital there, ugh. No thanks. So I’m home, and exhausted, and I seriously need to study for psych so I can make up this midterm sometime before tomorrow afternoon but I sooo tired. I think this time it’s the chemo fatigue plus I have a pain patch on that’s actually working pretty well in controlling all my lower-back trouble areas but it’s really kinda knocking me out at the same time. So I’m sort of leaning towards staying home and resting a little more tonight and then just going back to school early tomorrow before Italian at 9am, but we’ll see what my mom thinks when she gets home. Here’s some exciting news, a Trader Joe’s just opened up near my house! I’ve never been so my dad and I went today to check it out. It was a lot smaller than I thought it would be but they had some good stuff including REAL-deal gelato, aah. Very exciting, can’t wait to try that tonight! Also attempted to do some shopping but like I said, Lauren = exhausted and sick-ish, and also, I hate the mall, so it was not too successful. I did get a green sweater at the Gap though, so not a total loss. Now must decide between lying down and studying psychology … hmmm I wonder which will win?

Signature Strengths ∗ 7:36 pm ∗ 4 comments

Just took a test online for a psych project to find out my signature strengths. Apparently, they are:

1. Spirituality, sense of purpose, and faith
2. Gratitude
3. Kindness and generosity
4. Forgiveness and mercy
5. Modesty and humility

Hmm, how about that. Well, Day 2 of Il Chemo went okay. I think I’ll be feeling well enough to snarf some S’MORES tonight. Look, let’s be honest, I’ll probably eat them whether I feel like it or not. Because, come on, s’mores. Now I need to figure out work I need to get done because it’s already Thursday and I don’t feel like a whole lot of catching up got done this week, but at least I did make up 1 of my Italian tests this morning and it was non c’è male.

Also, Katherine is so kind as to make me a French phrasebook! Here’s what she’s given me to practice so far, at my request:

Salut! Où sont les mecs? Où sont les patisseries?
(Hello! Where are the cute boys? Where are the pastries?)

I mean, I figure those will be my top questions when we arrive, don’t you think?

Chemo time (again) ∗ 11:51 am ∗ 4 comments

Just got word that my counts hit the magic number today so chemo will commence! That’s okay, I’m glad it wasn’t delayed any longer because I don’t want my Thanksgiving break plans messed with. I haven’t mentioned it yet buuut the family (+ godmommy and Nunc) are going to France in a couple weeks! We’re going to Paris and Lourdes for some healing action for Lauren. Of course, the only French I know comes from Eddie routines and as he has pointed out, knowing how to say “the monkey is on the branch” is not particularly useful when you’re actually in France. Maybe I can practice my Italian on them, though. Anyway, that is the plan, so let’s hope my bone marrow does not screw it up!

I was just going over the notes I typed in history yesterday (to make sure they’re semi-coherent despite my lack of consciousness for much of class) and at one point I was trying to say that slavery was becoming more controversial in the wake of the American Revolution and instead I typed wake up. Hmm, little subliminal message to myself there? At least my brain is staying on top of things!

P.S. France or no France, Maureen and I are running away together to Egypt because I bet riding a camel would be fun.

Pyrotechnics ∗ 1:16 pm ∗ 2 comments

GAHHHH I SET SOMETHING ON FIRE. To be more specific, I set the toaster oven in the dining hall on fire. IT WAS SCARY. I put two slices of bread in and the first one comes out all weird and curled up, and Kristen and I say, “Hmm, that is unusual.” And then we wait for Slice #2 and it does not come and we say “Hmm” and then “Oh, there it is, STUCK UNDER THE WIRES” and then “AAAH FLAMES” and we grabbed a cafeteria worker behind us and pointed and shrieked (the flames actually went out after a few seconds, luckily) and she just kind of stared at it for a while and I was like, Hey, maybe you could possibly turn the machine off so it does not catch flame again?? So finally she did and we were like okay whew. So that was my excitement for the day. And that’s enough to last me a while.

Yay for meds ∗ 10:49 pm ∗ 1 comment

Man, I am loving this Percocet, or as Vanessa has taught me to call it, “Perky-cet,” hehehe. Anyway, catching up is going slowly, but I just feel like taking my time and not stressing out so hey, that’s what I’m gonna do. Couldn’t start chemo today because my platelets still aren’t up (and that’s with 3 transfusions while in the hospital, yikes!) so we’ll check the blood again on Wednesday and perhaps start then. I missed my suite girls a lot so it’s good to be back here with everyone! I got lots of hugs. :) Also, uh, I think I dropped computer science, so that’s quite stress-relieving as well, although I better confirm that with someone because I had the last two grades emailed to me today and they were 0s … (although I did tell my professor I wouldn’t be submitting anything because I’d be in the hospital, but I guess the TA didn’t get the message). Thanks everyone who offered me help with that class, but I just cannot keep up with the math in it. Guess I don’t have a future in computer science after all! Hmm. Time to figure out Plan B! Anyway, back to Italian homework now. Argh I can’t wait till I can take my wig off. I miss my hair already!

Not quite like Steve McQueen ∗ 3:12 pm ∗ 7 comments

I escaped from the hospital! Hurrah! It took a while to tunnel through those walls with a plastic spoon, but … no, wait, that was my prison escape. The hospital, though, I did manage to leave without tipping my wheelchair guy, so it was still an accomplishment. My belly’s doing okay; I got 3 little new scars on it. The surgeon said it was definitely a good thing they took the appendix out because it was not looking pretty. Good riddance, I say. Unfortunately, I had to say the same thing to my hair, because I was really starting to shed those last couple of days in the hospital so my mom shaved it all off for me last night. Sigh. Better to just get rid of it now though because I gotta tell you, when it starts coming out in clumps in the shower, well that’s pretty much just the most depressing thing ever, so it’s a lot easier to deal with it coming out in short little hairs right now. Plus, at the moment I am wearing a big hat to cover my head, and it makes me feel like a movie star! I’m actually home for the day though to get my wig trimmed up so it doesn’t look so weird on top. (I already got a new wig, but it’s like helmet hair right now, not so good.) So that’s the plan for today, plus probably catching up on work, or maybe catching up on cooking/baking (guess which I’d rather do!). But last night I did go back to my suite for a little bit and Katherine, Ana, Elise, and I (no one else was around) watched Mulan in my room and then we kept rewatching the scene in Aladdin where someone whispers “Take off your clothes” except we couldn’t quite hear it so eventually we gave up, sad, I know. ;) It’s back to chemo tomorrow, ugh. (Or maybe Tuesday if my platelets aren’t up.) I’m getting treated at school though so hopefully I won’t miss too many classes this week. And now I’m going to look up recipes instead of finishing my Italian homework! Just kidding. I mean, I can multi-task. I’ll do both!

(It’s also time to complain, obviously.) ∗ 9:10 pm ∗ 4 comments

Guess what? It’s time for some new scars! So if you’re wondering what happened to me (well … aren’t you?), I’ve been stuck in the hospital (at UVA) since Thursday night because I thought I had typhlitis again (remember that? that was horribly unfun) and I’m very smart so I was right. But ALSO. I have appendicitis too! Yesss. Really. I had a CT scan on Thursday, for which I had to drink horrible gastrografin (not as bad as the barium stuff, but still quite unpleasant), and the doctors weren’t really sure what they were seeing in it (v. helpful), so they gave me lots and lots of antibiotics and then they made me drink the gastrografin AGAIN yesterday (at 6 in the morning) so they could repeat the scan and they’ve decided the typhlitis is under control BUT the appendix has got to go. And so. Surgery tomorrow! Is there any kind of “undergo 5 surgeries* and the 6th one’s free"-type deals? No? Well maybe there should be. Actually, this one shouldn’t be too bad. It’s laparoscopic, which.. well, I don’t know EXACTLY what that means, but it’s not too invasive so that’s good. Poor tummy though. It’s also a pretty nice hospital here and I’ve had some of my suite buddies come to visit me so that’s been fun. I’m so bummed though that I missed SPA DAY in the suite on Saturday. Boohoo. :( Lauren needs some pampering! Also, I keep missing out on s’mores, and that’s not particularly cool either. But finally today someone got me an internet connection here, which is nice. I can’t get it in my room though – I have to haul myself, my IV pole, and my computer down the hall into the “adolescent lounge” but no one else comes in here so it’s pretty nice. But anyway, that’s what’s going on, and I was kind of shut off from civilization for a few days since I couldn’t get online and you can’t use your cell phone in the hospital, and everyone whose NoVA phone number I know is long-distance from my room phone. So. Not ignoring you guys, just trapped in the hospital. Sigh. Hopefully will recover from surgery quickly though and be out sometime this weekend. Send me some good thoughts for tomorrow!

* 1. tubes in my ears when I was a young’un; 2. port in; 3. limb salvage on my leg; 4. port out; 5. port back in

P.S. I just want you all to know how amazingly fast my brother is, because he ran in the Marine Corps Marathon on Sunday and I’m sad I had to miss it but he got 64th out of 30,000 20,000 (but still amazing!) so WHOA. Yeah Joe!