Hair today…

Hmm. I guess, in the future, if I go MIA for at least two days? You can safely assume I\’m back at the hospital. I did okay Monday and Tuesday with grad practices, but then Tues. afternoon wasn\’t feeling so great with swallowing (because I later find out I have, what else? sores in my esophagus! neato! thanks, chemo!) but then also was getting too many low-grade fevers. So Wednesday night went to the ER at Children\’s (my hospital/new second home, in case you didn\’t know). Lala. Need antibiotics. Okay. Good thing I got this port implanted, isn\’t it? Mm, yes. That\’s what I thought. To avoid IV\’s in the veins, since I am not a fan. What\’s that, ER nurses? You cannot access my port? No blood is coming out? I see. Oh so we must do the IV through my arm? No problem. Excuse me while I begin my panic attacks. Yes, let\’s try that left arm first, as Monday\’s nurse did a nice job of bruising my right arm already. Okay. Ah, what\’s that? Nothing? So we have to do the wrist? Oh don\’t worry about me, that\’s just my breathing reaching hyperventilation levels. You just keep working. How many years experience have you had again? Haha! Just kidding. No, you were absolutely right, the wrist does hurt! Must be nearly done now though, right? …What? It stopped? Need to try my right wrist? Oh, but only if I\’m okay with it? That\’s so sweet. Because I clearly have a choice here. Geez.

Ah — sorry. Was I writing an entry? I think I accidentally just channeled my thoughts from Wednesday night. My apologies. (I do have some very colorful bruises now though, you know. Isn\’t that lovely?) So I guess eventually they got the IV into my right wrist. Really well done, there. Why did my parents pay to have ports implanted under my skin, again? Oh just checking. So that was that. Then we had to wait for a room. And that\’s a whole \’nother that. So we finally get a room around 2am. Okay fine. Bed. Then I don\’t really remember what happened Thursday. Hmm. Do I? Nope. Nothing. Don\’t think I had anymore hallucinations, though. ;) Yeah. Think I just talked to my doctors a lot. And begged to get to go to graduation, which was Friday. And my white cell counts were low but they finally went up Friday morning so I got a yes! So I showered and everything! How do you like that? Then I brushed my hair. And it.. seemed to like the brush more than my scalp. And my hair has been sneaking away ever since yesterday morning. It\’s weird. It\’s not like big chunks yet, it\’s just thinning. But I\’m getting my hair cut super-short tomorrow, so when the big chunks do go.. that\’s not so bad, right? Right? :/ But I am shedding more than my pets. And I feel sad. But I feel more sad about graduation. But I\’m so glad I got to go. My doctors gave me from noon till 5pm on Friday to go. So I got all ready (remember the shower!)! And my sister did my make up! And we went to the shrine, which is actually very conveniently located about 10 minutes away from the hospital! And I found my friends and found the right meeting place and saw Major Palmer, who took very good care of me at practice and at the real deal. But I wasn\’t allowed to hug anyone. That made me saddd. I didn\’t process in with everyone, which is good, because I would slowed it down a bit much, heh. So I just hung out on stage till the rest of the NHS group got there and then took my seat. And I was nice and sedated but the speeches were good so I tried not to fall asleep (also, all the teachers were facing me!). And everyone clapped for me when I went up there with my crutches even though I feel like such a faker using them because my leg has been like the one thing not causing me pain in the past week or so, but it was so sweet and I wanted to cry, so I sure hope I\’m smiling in whatever picture was taken up there. And Mrs. Cer moved my tassel for me and I sat back down. And that\’s it! I\’m a graduate! And then I only did one embarrassing little thing, when they called up people for special awards, the girl sitting next to me was like \”okay let\’s go!\” because we thought it was for the scholarship awards, but it wasreally for real awards for smart people, so we hovered around for a minute and then ran back to our seats. Heh. Smooth. And I walked out with everyone, yay! And then lost my family for approximately 20 minutes because apparently there was a \”meeting place\” but I sure don\’t remember anything about that. Ooh, this is getting long. Yet no more interesting. Sorry about that! Well I felt sad about graduation because I couldn\’t hug any of my friends, and I don\’t think I even got to see half of them, and of course I could not go to the all-night grad party, and I\’m really really sad about that because that\’s the last time I would have gotten to be with everyone together, and it sounds like it was so much fun, and I\’d just been looking forward to it. Oh I need to stop talking about all this. Too depressing. So I went back to the hospital and the nurses all said congrats, which was very sweet, and my parents broke out the sparkling apple cider and cafeteria cake, heh. Aaand. There wasn\’t much else to do obviously so after a while everyone except my mom went home. But thanks to my family who was there, I love you all! And then I was supposed to be able to leave early this morning so I could get a haircut and then make it to Maureen\’s party by 2, but then! My red cell count went down! So I got my first ever blood transfusion. Lovely. I guess I needed it because I was so very tired. I slept through most of it. Actually ate my lunch and enjoyed it. Went back to sleep. Finally done at 4. Oookay. Finally leave at 5. I think. Missed my 4:30 haircut appt. so that\’s tomorrow morning instead. Made it to Moe\’s around 6:30/7, heh, yay! Better late than never! Had some yummmmy food, thanks Maureen! And Katelyn left me a present — pictures from the all-night grad party and the Dr. Suess book Oh the Places You\’ll Go! Hee, good stuff. And Moe swiped a prize for me so I have some way cool shades and flip-flops and a lei now, and of course I am just going to wear them all week long here since I can\’t actually make it to beach week! But I\’ll be there in spirit! And I want some good prank(/drunk) phone calls, haha. I\’m such a loser, I think I have been writing this for 45 minutes. Yikes. And I am sleepy. So I\’ll leave you till tomorrow. And hope I make it till Tuesday before visiting the hospital again (since I have to go on Tuesday anyway)! Okay good night.

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